A Tale of Two Shippos
by ArtikGato
Summary: WARNING! This fic will probably warp your mind if you are even the slightest bit sane! OOCness! And LOTS of it! Inuyasha, Sesshomaru, Miroku, and Naraku all act the exact opposite of what they should! And more!
1. the PROLOGUE!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my mind...which is slowly imploding from all of the stress of EXAMS!! ARGH!! SCHOOL IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!!!

Good evening, fanfic readers. If it's not evening where you are then

**PRETEND IT IS!!!**

Ahem. Sorry. Now then, welcome to _A Tale of Two Shippos_, a story about the cold, dark depths of the human soul, story that touches on the--- *is hit in the head with an oar*

NEW Narrator: Sorry about that. /__\ (to the unconscious first narrator) THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO FOOL AROUND IN MY AIBOU'S BRAIN WHILE SHE'S WRITING A FANFIC!!!!

Old Narrator: x__x

New Narrator: ^_______^

Me: --_-- Will you two get out of my head already?!

New Narrator: Hmp! All right! *drags Old Narrator off the stage*

Me: Sorry about that. Those two were my alternate egos. Botan (New Narrator) is my crazed fangirl bishounen loving side, and Ryoko (Old Narrator) is my Yami (dark) side. Now, without further adue, welcome to _A Tale of Two Shippos_, a humorous fanfic about the characters of the anime _Inuyasha_. Now...on with the show!!

**A Tale of Two Shippos...the PROLOGUE!!!**

            On a tall, dark hill surrounded by tall, dark trees with tall, dark clouds overhead, a figure stood. He had a big furry puff on one shoulder and his other sleeve just sorta...hung there. He was dressed in white, and also had very lengthy long hair.

            "Mwahahahahahahaha! Soon, my plan shall be set into motion! I shall turn Kagome and Shippo against my wonderful little brother and those two morons who travel with them!" Sesshomaru exclaimed diabolically. (warning: out of characterness, or OOCness!! And lots of it!!) Lightning flashed. A little toad-like thing carrying a big stick scurried up to the bishounen Sesshomaru.

            "Lord Sesshomaru!" Jakan said in his stupid voice.

            "What do you want, Jakan-chan, my wonderful accomplice?!" asked Sesshomaru, glomping Jakan and squeeing. (see, didn't I warn you about the OOCness?!?!)

            "My Lord, I've just--" Jakan started.

            "Please, dear friend, call me Sessho-kun, it's SO much easier to pronounce!" Sesshomaru told him. 

            "Aye...Sessho-kun...umm, I've spotted the King and Queen of Cool and their three incredibly cool minions!" Jakan exclaimed stupidly.

            "You mean my wonderful little brother and Kagome-chan and that kawaii Shippo and those to morons?!?!" Sesshomaru asked. 

            "Aye, my lord!" Jakan answered, pridefully. Sesshomaru glared at Jakan.

            "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME SESSHO-KUN!!!" Sesshomaru screamed in furious angry rage as he prepared to smite the toad.

            "WARGH!! I'm sorry, Lord Sessho-kun!" screeched Jakan.

            "You are oh so very forgiven!" Sesshomaru said, glomping him yet again.

            "Umm, Sessho-kun? You're acting a bit weird today..." Jakan started, squirming, trying to get out of the enormous glomp Sesshomaru had him in.

            "No I'm not!" Sesshomaru replied, happily.

            "Will you please put me down?!" Jakan requested.

            "Okay!!!!!!' Sesshomaru replied all too hyperly. He set Jakan down on the ground, patted him on the head, and pranced around him in a circle.             

            "So, Sesshoma---kun...what are we going to do?" asked Jakan.

            "About what?" Sesshomaru asked, obliviously, as he tried to catch a butterfly.

            "About the King and Queen of Cool and their minions of Extreme Coolness!" Jakan replied. he growled, and muttered 'Why did Sesshomaru insist on me calling them that?!' under his breath.

            "Why, we shall set my wonderfully brilliant plan into motion!" Sesshomaru exclaimed. Lightning flashed ominously. Sesshomaru jumped, and cowered behind Jakan.


	2. Chapter One!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my mind...which is slowly imploding from all of the stress of EXAMS!! ARGH!! SCHOOL IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL!!!

The Prologue to _A Tale of Two Shippos introduced Sesshomaru in his opposite state and Jakan in his pretty much normal state. It was revealed that Sesshomaru has a big plan in mind for Kagome and Shippo! But what? MAYBE you'll find out in this chapter!!_

**A Tale of Two Shippos...CHAPTER ONE!!!**

            Kagome, Inuyasha, Shippo, Miroku, and Sango were walking down the road. Their general purpose was to find the many shards of the Shikon Jewel, and to KILL NARUKU!! Oh joyousness, noble cause and violent revenge!! Yay!! Ahem. They walked along in silence, Inuyasha in the front, followed by Kagome and Shippo, with Sango behind them and Miroku in the rear. Each was in deep thought.

            "_I wonder whether these 'aliens' Kagome is telling me about speak Japanese_?!" Inuyasha pondered, thinking about little green Shippos saying 'Cow knee chew on'. 

            "_D*&%, Inu-kun has a KAWAII butt_!!" Kagome thought.;

            "_I'm soooooooooooo HUNGRY_!!" Shippo mentally complained.

            "_The author doesn't know much about me, since she hasn't seen me in the dub yet. So...I will be SANGOISH_!!" Sango thought.

            "_Must...kill...Naruku...must...find...child-bearer...must_..." Miroku thought. He suddenly looked up, and saw Inuyasha. A golden ray of sunlight seemed to shine onto him, and the 'Hallelujah' chorus broke out inside of his head. 

            "_Oh my, what is this strange feeling? Is it love? Has Cupid struck me with his arrows? Oh me oh my!!"_ Miroku thought. On a cliff behind the troupe of five stood three figures. One held a spotlight, shining it onto Inuyasha, one held a boom box that was playing 'Hallelujah' over and over again, and one held a bow and magic arrows. The three turned to each other, snickered, and darted away.

            "There is a bridge up ahead," announced Inuyasha. Everyone groaned in disgust, except Kagome.           

            "YAY!!  A BRIDGE!! OH JOYOUSNESS!!" screeched Kagome gleefully. Inuyasha grinned at her, and the troupe of five started across the bridge, still very deep in thought.

            "_Kagome so rocks. She is so incredibly cool! And kawaii! Squee_!" thought Inuyasha. 

            "_YAY__!!__ A **BRIDGE****!!**"_ Kagome thought.

            "_Sooooo__ hungry!__ Urgh_!" Shippo mentally whined.

            "_Tra__ la la la la!__ I'm being SANGOISH_!!" Sango thought.

            "_Oh glorious love!__ Inuyasha is so cool! I no longer care for Sango or Kagome_!" Miroku thought, as he skipped across the bridge. Inuyasha suddenly turned around, stopping the Troupe in midstride.

            "Kagome, allow me to escort you across this bridge!" he exclaimed.

            "Okay!!" Kagome replied, cheerily. Inuyasha squeed, glomped her, and leapt from the bridge to the bank of the stupidly large gorge they were crossing. He put her down, and leapt back to the bridge. He glomped Shippo, and repeated the process. He yet again leapt back, figuring 'Why not??!' and glomped Sango, repeating the process of jumping back to the bank yet again.

            "_Fooooooood__...." _Shippo thought.

            "_He GLOMPED me_!!" Kagome rejoiced in her head.

            "_Sangoish__, Sangoish, I'm being SANGOISH_!!" Sango thought. Miroku stood alone on the bridge. He looked expectantly at Inuyasha. He got a 'crazy fanboy' look (misty eyes, huge grin, ect.) and held his hands clasped together beside his head.

            "_I hope Inu-kun will glomp ME too_!!' Miroku thought. Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, and Sango started to walk off. Miroku facefaulted. Only, he was on a rickety old bridge... so his stupidly huge head smashed through the wood and he fell to his DOOM!! Wahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Well...no, actually, he just facefaulted. But it's funny to THINK....

            "I have Bit Cloud's voice!" Inuyasha randomly said with much arbitraryness. Everyone looked incredibly clueless. 


	3. Chapter TWO!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which fled to Jamaica about the time that Term Paper was assigned...

Chapter One of _A Tale of Two Shippos introduced the main characters of the __Inuyasha anime, in their altered or normal states. Which was up to the author's discretion. Inuyasha and Miroku had complete 180 degree turns on their personalities, Kagome was acting a BIT weird, Shippo was acting usual, I suppose, and Sango was being Sangoish since I haven't seen her in the dub yet. What will happen to them this time? And what sinister plot does Sesshomaru have cooked up for Kagome and Shippo? And why the heck am I talking like the narrator from Digimon 01? You MIGHT find out in this chapter!!_

**A Tale of Two Shippos...chapter TWO!!!**

            "Let's set up camp now!" Inuyasha exclaimed. It was about two-o-clock in the afternoon, a couple of microseconds after they crossed the bridge. Plus, they were in the middle of a wide open field, with no trees in sight and grass that was taller than Inuyasha. Why they were there, nobody knows. (not even ME!!). Everyone looked at him, puzzled, but decided to humor him. So, they stopped to set up camp. Inuyasha unsheathed his sword and powered it up in a spectacular scene with a really colorful background, and slashed a circle in the grass while screaming 'TETSUSAIGA!!!' He plopped down on the ground in an arbitrary spot. Miroku tried, in vain, to sit next to Inuyasha, but Kagome and Shippo beat him to it. Sango sat down across from him, and Miroku sat next to her with a defeated sigh. Everyone looked expectantly at Inuyasha. He just sat between Kagome and Shippo with a gleeful look on his face, twiddling his thumbs. 

            On a hill nearby, Sesshomaru and Jakan stood, looking down at the group. There was a solitary black cloud in the sky, and it hovered above them. 

            "What do we do now, Lord Sesshomaru?" Jakan asked. Sesshomaru glared at him.

            "What did I tell you?" he growled. 

            "Umm...I mean, Sessho-kun," Jakan quickly corrected himself.

            "That's better. Now then, I want you to take this, "Sesshomaru started, producing a plate of cookies from thin air, "and give them to Kagome and Shippo. If anyone else tries to take them, burn them to a crisp. Got it?" Sesshomaru instructed his stupid froggish minion. 

            "Aye, Sessho-kun," Jakan said, writing down the last bit of instruction down on a piece of paper. 

            "Good. Now...GO!!!" Sesshomaru bellowed, handing Jakan the plate of cookies, which was infinitely bigger than the frog, and so caused him to have to hold his stupid head staff in his mouth and the plate of cookies above his head. Having accomplished that, Jakan scurried off toward the five campers, a chunk of the black cloud breaking off and hovering above him.

            The troupe of five sat in the circle of cut grass. Inuyasha was thinking about how funny it would be to see Japanese-speaking aliens. Kagome was counting the shards of the Shikon jewel that she had while humming 'Under the Sea'. Shippo was holding his stomach thinking about cookies and cakes and cupcakes and... Miroku was staring at Inuyasha, incredibly spaced out. Sango was being Sangoish. Jakan scurried up, and burst through the circle of grass and into the center of the circle of people. Everyone but Miroku jumped up in alarm.

            "It's Jakan!" Kagome exclaimed.

            "Sesshomaru's minion! That must mean that my dear brother is nearby!" Inuyasha inferred. Sango glared at Jakan Sangoishly. Shippo saw that Jakan was holding a plate of cookies. His stomach growled and his mouth watered.

            "Coooooooooooooookies!" he said, in a zombie-like state. Miroku finally stood up. Jakan looked around at them, and spat his stupid headstaff out of his mouth.

            "I bring cookies from Lord Sesshomaru!" Jakan announced. The loud sound of someone clearing their throat came from nearby.

            "Er...I mean, Lord Sessho-Kun!" Jakan corrected himself.

            "Why would Sesshomaru want to give us cookies?" Kagome questioned. 

            "Could my dear brother be trying to poison us?" Inuyasha pondered.

            "COOKIES!!" Shippo screeched, and jumped at Jakan, grabbing the plate of cookies out of his hand. He began to gulp down the cookies at a rate previously unheard of to man.

            "Hey, let ME have some!" Kagome exclaimed, and grabbed a few from the plate before Shippo could inhale them.

            "Geez, you'd think that there was a wind tunnel in his stomach!" Miroku said.

            "Umm...are those cookies safe?" Sango asked, Sangoishly.

            "Well, Shippo hasn't died from eating them yet," Inuyasha said. Jakan got up from being knocked down by Shippo.

            "ARGH! You're not supposed to do that!!" Jakan yelled.

            "Pst! Introduce me!" came a whisper from the bushes. 

            "Huh? Oh! And now is the most illustrious Lord Sesshom--uh--kun!" Jakan yelled. Sesshomaru burst from the bushes (or was it grass?!) and landed conveniently next to Miroku. He was randomly wearing a sombrero. Miroku jumped back away from him.

            "Dear brother!" Inuyasha exclaimed gleefully.

            "Inuyasha! It has been a long time!" Sesshomaru exclaimed.

            "Too long!" Inuyasha replied, rejoicing.

            "I only get to see you at the holidays any more!" Sesshomaru exclaimed, as they hugged.

            "This is incredibly demented," commented Kagome, as she munched on a cookie.

            "I don't care, he makes GREAT cookies!" Shippo said, as he finished off his immensely huge portion of the cookies.

            "You really think so??" Sesshomaru cried in joy. Sango was sangoish. Miroku stared at Sesshomaru. Then he suddenly got his 'crazed fanboy' look again. 

            "_Inuyasha's brother is even better looking than he is! Oh me oh my!"_ Miroku thought, as 'Joy to the World' sang in his head. A solitary figure crouched in the grass nearby holding that same boom box, only with 'Joy to the World' playing. The figure snickered, and darted off again. Sesshomaru squeed for no reason.

            "Well, we must depart, dear brother," Sesshomaru said. He turned to Kagome and randomly produced a rose from thin air. 

            "M'lady," he said, handing her the rose. She looked at him skeptically, and took the rose carefully as if it was going to come alive and devour her. (note: isnt' 'devour' such an evil word? Wahahahahaha!!). Sesshomaru then turned to Shippo, and made a seven-layer chocolate-fudge-vanilla cake shaped like Taiwan appear. 

            "Here you go, little one!" he said, and handed the cake to Shippo. The problem with that was the cake was incredibly huge, and poor Shippo was incredibly small. Shippo solved the problem by devouring the entire gigantic cake in a matter of seconds. Sesshomaru turned to Miroku and Sango. Miroku looked expectantly at Sesshomaru in his crazed fanboy state.

            "_I want a rose too_!!!" Miroku thought.

            "Goodbye for now!" Sesshomaru said, and he and Jakan frolicked off through the grass, the black cloud following above them like an obedient servant. Miroku facefaulted. 


	4. Chapter THREE! Oh joyousness!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which fled to Jamaica about the time that Term Paper was assigned...

Chapter Two of _A Tale of Two Shippos told of how the Troupe set up camp, and PART of Sesshomaru's sinister plan was discovered. His motives were not revealed, but his methods—giving Shippo and Kagome food and flowers—were revealed. What in the world is going on? Why does Jakan carry that stupid headstaff around? What in the world possessed me to write this junk? You MIGHT find out in this chapter!!!_

**A Tale of Two Shippos...chapter THREE!!!**

            "Sesshomaru is so cool!!!" Shippo said, again, for the 100 millionth time. 

            "Stop SAYING that!! We KNOW!!!" shouted Inuyasha irately. Kagome suddenly sighed and took out the rose that Sessomaru had given her (for your information it was silverish-white). The background behind her turned into swirly pastel colors and sparkly things floated around her. 

            "Sesshomaru is so ho---erm, cool!!" she exclaimed, and sighed dramatically again. Shippo stared at the pretty background which seemed to only surround Kagome, and he fell down dizzy. Inuyasha ran around her, frantically trying to catch one of the sparkly things. Sango just stood there, beating her head repeatedly against a tree Sangoishly. Miroku sighed, and the background behind him turned into a duplicate of Kagome's. However, his background turned into fire halfway through the whole ordeal, and all of the sparkly things started to attack him! Wahahahaha!!

            "Can we go now?" Sango requested, Sangoishly.

            "Okay!!" everyone but Miroku sang. Kagome's background disappeared, along with the sparkly things, to Inuyasha's dismay. Miroku frantically tried to destroy the sparkly things attacking him while putting out his robe-ish thing which was on fire. He finally sucked his background and pretty much everything but the rest of the Troupe into his 'wind tunnel'. Having accomplished that, Miroku caught up to the rest of the Troupe, who were now skipping merrily down the road. Kagome suddenly stopped in her tracks and looked in one random direction. Three figures in the grass nearby snickered. One held two massive poster boards painted with swirly pastel colors, one being on fire, one held onto a bunch of strings with sparkly things on the end of them, and the other held a blowtorch. They giggled and pranced away.

            "I'm sensing a lot of shards of the Shikon Jewel nearby!!" she said, clapping her hands.

            "Squee!! I smell NARUKU!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, happily.

            "Really? Naruku? Oh JOYOUSNESS!! Now I can thank him for putting this everso useful Wind Tunnel in my hand!!!" Miroku exclaimed. The bushes to the right of the Troupe shook ominously, and out jumped... A MOOSE?!?!

            "What is a moose doing in Feudal Japan?" Kagome wondered. The moose laughed diabolically, and with a POOF!!!, he turned into whatever Naruku looks like, but instead of wearing that ridiculous bear/baboon robe/hide thing, he was wearing a pink rabbit costume

            "OH JOYOUSNESS!! IT'S NARUKU!!" everyone shouted. Naruku jumped for joy.

            "You REMEMBER me!! YAAAY!!" Naruku cheered.          

            "Yeah, it's kind f heard to forget YOU, what with you repeatedly trying to kill all of us, and having pretty much ruined all of our lives on numerous occasions..." Kagome replied.

            "But that's all in the past now!! I would NEVER hurt a FLEA now!!!" Naruku exclaimed, skipping around in a circle. The Troupe quietly whispered among themselves as Naruku danced and sang 'Jingle Bells'. In a conveniently placed tree nearby sat a solitary figure, holding that same boom box. 'Jingle Bells' played from the boom box. The figure snickered, but just as the figure was about to dart away, the song changed to 'The Tape Song' (_tape tape tape, tape is cool, tape just really rocks! Plastic lanyards go to &%$# and tape just really rocks_!). The figure frantically pushed the stop button, and darted away. But no one noticed because they were busy dancing and/or whispering amongst themselves. How fortunate!!

            "What should we do about Naruku?" Inuyasha whispered.

            "We should SMITE HIM!!! Wahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!" Miroku suggested, whispering.

            "Hungry!!!" Shippo whined.

            "I don't know if I would normally come up with a plan right now, since I'm basically a huge question mark to most of America, so I shall be Sangoish," Sango informed them.

            "We need to get the shards of the Shikon Jewel away from him," said Kagome.

            "That is a GOOD idea!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, and glomped her.

            "Right, but how are going to--" Miroku was stopped in mid-sentence as Naruku shouted 'TA DA!!!!' Everyone looked at him, surprised. He was standing, pridefully might I add, behind a huge circular table with six chairs around it and the hugest plate of cookies ever known to man (or demon for that matter) in the center of it. Naruku clapped his hands together.

           "Let's be friends!!" Naruku exclaimed. The Troupe collectively sweatdropped, except for Shippo. He shouted 'OKAY!!!' and leapt onto the gastronomically huge plate of cookies and started to eat them as fast as he possibly could. Naruku and the rest of the Troupe collectively sweatdropped.

            "Well...come and eat some before the cute little fox kid eats them all," Naruku said. The rest of the Troupe figured 'Why not?!?!' and decided to sit down and eat the cookies.

            "_Why are all of our enemies giving us cookies_?" Kagome pondered.

            "_Are those chocolate chip cookies or do they have macadamia nuts in them_?" Inuyasha pondered.

            "_Why haven't I noticed how cool Naruku is before_?" Miroku pondered, getting a TAD fanboyish, but only just a tad. 

            "_Why must I be Sangoish_?" wondered Sango. 

            "_How can Shippo eat so many cookies_?" Naruku pondered.

            "_Why am I included in this scene_?" Sesshomaru pondered from a tree nearby. Then he promptly left. 

            "_Yum!!__ How can chocolate chip cookies taste so good_?" Shippo pondered. Everyone sat down (only after Inuyasha forcibly removed Shippo from the pile of cookies) and looked expectantly at Naruku. He grinned at them.

            "Dig in!!" he said, gesturing to the huge pile of cookies. Shippo jumped forward, but Inuyasha caught him by the tail.

            "Oh no you don't you greedy pig!!" he exclaimed, and then shoved ten cookies in his mouth at once.

            "Hypocrite!" Kagome scolded. Inuyasha pouted. Everyone got their fair share of the cookies. Then they got the rest of the cookies a safe distance away from the table and let Shippo loose to decimate them. While they were eating, Kagome got an idea.

            "Say, Naruku, you have a bunch of the shards of the Sacred Shikon Jewel of Four Souls, don't you?" asked Kagome. Everyone but Shippo nearly choked and stared at her. 

            "Why yes I do!!" Naruku exclaimed, squeeing.

            "Well, we're collecting the shards, you know," Kagome continued.

            "Yup!!" Naruku answered.

            "So, I was wondering, why don't you just give US your shards...for safekeeping!!" Kagome suggested. 

            "Okay!!" Naruku replied, happily. Everyone that had been holding their breath (Inuyasha, Miroku and Sango) sighed in relief. Naruku got up, and trounced over to Kagome. He presented her with one shard.

            "This is my favorite. His name is Phil," Naruku informed her. 

            "O...kay..." she said, taking it, while giving him a 'you're a lunatic' look. He just grinned. 

            "And this is Bob, Lenny, Carl, Sam, George, and Pete," he said, presenting her with said shards.

            "And these four are REALLY cool. They're Beth, Lisa, Maggie and Dorothy, " Naruku presented her with four more shards. He went on to name the forty gajillion more shards, while the Troupe munched on cookies and tried to block him out. 

            "_Kagome loves me, Kagome loves me not, Kagome loves me_..." Inuyasha thought, counting the number of chocolate chips there were in one chip. 

            "_Inuyasha loves me, Inuyasha loves me not, Inuyasha loves me_..." Miroku thought, copying Inuyasha. 

            "_COOKIES_!!!" Shippo mentally shrieked, decimating the rest of his immense portion of the cookies.

            "_Sangoish__ rhymes with Sangofish and Sangodish and_..." Sango thought. 

            "_I wonder if Inuyasha loves me? Or maybe it's Sesshomaru? I KNOW Miroku loves me_..." Kagome thought, as Naruku presented her with YET ANOTHER shard of the Shikon Jewel. 

            "....and this is Greg, and this is..." Naruku babbled on and on and on and...

ONE HOUR LATER!!!

            "...and last but not least, this one is named Chris!!" Naruku exclaimed, presenting her with his last shard of the Shikon Jewel. Kagome accepted the shard, yawned, and thanked Naruku. Everyone gradually woke up, having eaten all of the cookies (more out of boredom than hunger) and decided that sleep was good. Naruku smiled at them. 

            "There! I'm done!!" he exclaimed.

            "YAAAAY!!!" the Troupe collectively rejoiced. Naruku's watch suddenly beeped (I KNOW that they didn't have watches in Feudal Japan...I just don't care...)

            "Oh dear, I have to go!  Oh well!" Naruku exclaimed. He then hugged Kagome randomly.

            "Take care of my shards of the Shikon Jewel!" he said. Then he hugged Sango for no reason, and then Shippo. Finally, he came to Miroku and Inuyasha. Miroku got his 'deranged fanboy' look again.

            "_Could it be?!__ Naruku is much better looking than both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru! Oh me oh my!!"_ Miroku thought, as the theme song to _Titanic_ randomly played in his head. Another solitary figure snickered, and turned off the boom box that was playing that incredibly annoying song, and ran away. 

            "_Please please please please PLEASE hug me!!!_" thought Miroku. Naruku walked up and shook his hand (being extra careful NOT to shake the hand with the wind tunnel in it), and then shook Inuyasha's hand as well. Miroku facefaulted.

            "Farewell!! I hope to see you all again!" Naruku exclaimed, and waved as he slowly walked away.

            "Good bye!!" the Troupe exclaimed, and waved at him. Then everyone froze in position and the scene turned into a painting. A solitary figure snickered, and took the painting away from the screen, revealing that the Troupe was drinking soda and eating chips randomly.


	5. Chapter FOUR!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which is STILL on vacation in Jamaica...and it REALLY needs to get back here soon, since I just got back to school!! 

Note: I actually know what Sango is like and how she acts and junk. I just think that her being 'Sangoish' all of the time is humorous. And I was complaining that the series hasn't gotten that far yet. Just to let ya' know. Yeah, I'm crazy. Tell me something I DON'T know...

Chapter Three of _A Tale of Two Shippos_ detailed on how the Fellowship of the Jewel met Naraku, their greatest and worst enemy to date. (btw, LORD OF THE RINGS SO KICKS BUTT!!!) Naraku, instead of attacking them like he would in any normal situation, opted to give them cookies. What is the conspiracy with the cookies? Are Sesshomaru and Naraku in league with eachother and plotting the demise of the Troupe this very moment? Why did I write this? You probably won't find out in this chapter...but read anyway!!

**A Tale of Two Shippos...Chapter FOUR!!**

"Tra la la la la!" sang Inuyasha as he skipped down the road to Oz, decked out in a tin-man costume. 

            "Inuyasha--" Kagome started.

            "It's TINuyasha, wench!" Tinuyasha screamed.

            "Er--sorry, Tinuyasha. Why are we dressed like this?" Kagorothy asked, picking at her weird costume.

           "Yeah, and I don't enjoy being a scarecrow! This hay itches, ya know!!" Sangcrow complained, folding her arms.

            "Shaddup, 'coral'!" Tinuyasha screeched at her. (note: 'sango' means 'coral' in Japanese)

            "And I don't enjoy being woken up at four AM, dressed in a lion suit, and referred to as 'cowardly' for the duration of the day!" Mirokulion pointed out.

            "Yeah, and I'm a FOX, not a DOG!!" Shippoto added.

            "QUIET!! Now, we're going to skip down this road of yellow bricks and we're GOING to like it!!" Tinuyasha bellowed, reaching for the Tetsusaiga. Everyone promptly fell silent and began to skip behind Tinuyasha. Sesshomaru, dressed in a witch's costume, flying on a magical broom, and having green skin, appeared in a poof of oddly colored smoke. 

            "WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Kagorothy, time to hand over those red shoes!!" he cackled maniacally.

            "SESSHOMARU?!?!?!" the troupe shouted in disbelief. 

            "No, it's Sessho-witch!!" exclaimed Jaken, who flew up wearing a monkey suit with wings.

            "Oh dear Kami, this has gone too far!!" Sangcrow exclaimed, beating her head against a tree. 

            "What next, Kikyo as the Good Witch and Naraku as the Wizard?!" Kagorothy shouted.

 Kikyo, in a fluffy pink dress wearing a tiara and holding a sparkly magic wand, appeared from a bubble. Naraku ran up in a wizardish costume. Kagorothy joined Sangcrow in beating her head against a tree. Rin, Saiyo, and a bunch of other little kids ran in and began to sing about being munchkins. Shippo ran out and joined them, dancing gleefully.

            "Wahahahahahahaha!!" Sesshowitch cackled. "Come on, my pretty, give me those magic shoes!" he exclaimed.

            "No! Kaede-witch gave me these shoes!" Kagorothy protested.      

            "No she didn't! The house landed on her--" Shippoto protested.

            "SHHHHHHH!!!!" the Troupe exclaimed. 

            "My sister has been killed?! Oh the humanity!!!" Sesshowitch shrieked.

            "She's MY sister whitey-locks!!" Kikyo screamed at him.

            "Hey, Sangcrow," Mirokuliion said, trying to sound sexy but failing horribly, "wanna find out why I'm called the 'King of the Forest'?" he asked.

            "Buzz off," Sangcrow replied, pulling her stupidly huge boomerang off of her back and whacking him with it. He screamed and zoomed off, holding his head in pain. he then walked up to Kagorothy.

            "Hey Kagorothy, wanna find out why I'm called the Ki--" Mirokulion started. He was cut off by a furious Tinuyasha, who zoomed up, Tetsusaiga drawn and gleaming in the air.

            "Wanna find out what my sword tastes like?!" he threatened. Miroku got a fanboyish look on his face. 

            "Why yes I do!!!" Mirokulion exclaimed, with hearts in his eyes.

            "All right, please stop talking!!" Kagorothy pleaded, trying to ignore the previous sentence and it's many insinuations. She shuddered in disgust.

            "Hentai!!!" Tinuyasha shrieked, and began to shout a chain of colorful and inventive curses while attacking Miroku.

            "Tinuyasha, please stop!!" Kagorothy pleaded. Tinuyasha growled.

            "You realize that he wanted to--" Tinuyasha started. Kagorothy's eyes widened, and she quickly slapped a hand over his mouth and pointed with the other hand.

            "Not in front of the children!!" Kagorothy exclaimed, pointing at Rin, Saiyo, Shippo, and the rest of the munchkins.

            "We are not children! We are the Lollypop Guild!!" Shippo said, hyperly.

            "ARGH!! NO!!! ANYTHING BUT **THAT** SONG!!" Sangcrow shrieked, Sangoishly.

            "Butwhynot???? Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh?!?!?!" Rin asked very fastly and very hyperly.

            "Kodomo, are you hyper?" Sesshowitch asked her. She took a deep breath, and everyone covered their ears in fear.

            "Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono

nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono

nonononononononononononononoI'mnot!!!!!!" she screamed/replied. 

            "Where did you get sugar?" Sesshowitch asked calmly, glaring over at Jaken-monkey.

            "It wasn't me Lord Sessho-kun-witch!" the frogish demon frantically replied. Rin grinned and took another deep breath.

            "JakengaveittomeyeshediditwasJakenJakenisameanfrogandyouneedtosmitehim!" Rin said, without taking a breath. No, not even once. Sesshowitch glared at Jaken. 

            "Oh really?!?" Sesshwitch asked. Jaken gulped. 

            ****

**            POW!! WHAP!! KAZOO!! KERSPLAT!! SHAZAM!! WHAP!! BLAM!!**

            Jaken fell to the ground with X's in his eyes and bruises covered in bruises covered in bruises!!

            "WAHAHAHAHAHA!! DIE JAKEN DIE!!" Kagorothy shrieked, in glee. Sesshwitch dusted himself off and clapped his hands together randomly. 

            "Kodomo?" he asked.

            "YesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesSessh-kun?" Rin asked.

            "Okey-day! Just checkin'!" Sessh replied.

            "Kikyo!! Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhatguesswhatguesswhat?!?!" Saiyo exclaimed.

            "What is it that you want?" Kikyo asked, sweetly. 

            "I'm HYPER HYPER HYPER!!!" Saiyo replied. Kiyo sighed, and, using her magical good witch/priestess powers, and made all of the kodomos UNhyper. Everyone that wasn't a kodomo (child) cheered gleefully. Then everyone BUT the five travelers (Kagorothy, Tinuyasha, Shippoto, Sangcrow and Mirokulion) disappeared into thin air.

            "Oh we're off to see Naraku! Naraku, the wizard of Oz!!" everyone sang, and resumed their skipping down the yellow brick road below their feet. And everyone was happy and joyous. Sesshwitch appeared in a poof of smoke with a flock of flying-monkey Jakens! Oh the HORROR!!  
            "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too!!" Sesshwitch cackled maniacally, making the swarm of flying-monkey Jakens cackle monkeyishly as well.

            "I AM A FOX!! A FREAKIN' KITSUNE!! STOP CALLING ME A DOG!!" Shippo threw a fit. 

            "I was _talking_ to Tinuyasha!" Sesshwitch corrected him. 

            "I am insulted! I am NOT little!! And I'm only HALF dog!!" Tinuyasha replied. Sangcrow resumed beating her head against a tree again. 

            "Horribly wrong! This story is going HORRIBLY WRONG!!" she sobbed. Sesshwitch blinked, confused.

            "You say you're NOT little?" he asked, adjusting the broom that he was flying on. Tinuyasha nodded overdramatically.

            "You ARE in THIS picture!!" Sesshwitch replied, producing a kawaii picture of Chibi Inuyasha out of thin air. Kagorothy squeed.

            "IT'S CHIBI INUYASHA!!!" she exclaimed, and proceeded to glomp the picture. Everyone sweatdropped.

            "Hey!! Glomp ME!! That picture is a family heirloom!!" Tinuyasha exclaimed.

            "OKAY!!!" Kagorothy screeched and glomped him. Tinuyasha TRIED to look annoyed, but grinned instead. Sesshwitch cleared his throat.

            "Now then, give me those magic red shoes!" Sesshwitch exclaimed, and cackled maniacally, the flock of flying-monkey Jakens following suit.

            "Okey-day! These shoes are crampin' my style anyway! And they're not comfortable, either!" Kagorothy complained, removed the shoes, and tossed them at Sesshwitch. He dodged to the side "accidentally" and the shoes bonked a Jaken in the head.

            "NOOOO!! Kagorothy you baka!! You're NOT supposed to give away the shoes! Now you'll NEVER get back to Kansas again!!!" Sangcrow exclaimed.           

            "Kansas?!?" everyone asked.

            "Sangcrow, I think you've lost it," Tinuyasha told her.

            "What you need is a good relaxing soak in a hotspring!!" Mirokulion suggested suggestively. Sangcrow surprised everyone by shrieking "OKAY!!!" and dragging Miroku off at light speed. Everyone looked in the direction they had gone, sweatdropping. 

            "Well...now that I have these red shoes I should go plot things and be diabolical," Sesshwitch said. With that, he and the flock of flying-monkey Jakens disappeared in a rainbow colored poof of smoke. Shippo suddenly ran off, shouting "I'm off to find my munchkin friends!!" Kagorothy and Tinuyasha were left standing in the middle of the yellow brick road alone.

            "Well..." Kagorothy started. They both sweatdropped.

            "Ummm..." Tinuyasha said. They both blushed.

            "Wanna...go...do...something..." Tinuyasha asked.   
            "What's there to do in Oz?" Kagorothy asked. There were a few moments of silence.

            "We...could go prance around in that field of poppies and get all high..." suggested Tinuyasha. 

            "Okay!!" Kagorothy exclaimed. Then they frolicked off hand in hand with corny romance music playing in the background. And everyone was happy and joyous. 


	6. Chapter FIVE!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which is STILL on vacation in Jamaica...and it REALLY needs to get back here soon, since I just got back to school!! 

Note: This chapter is a parody not only of _Inuyasha_, but also a parody of 'The Blanket Scenario'. There is this spiffycool website called 'Kagome & Inuyasha', which I have forgotten the link for ^^''', but you can get to it by going to Anipike.com and going to the Inuyasha section and just looking for it! Tada! Anywho, it is a fanfiction website, and it mainly has fanfics about 'The Blanket Scenario'. Here we go: two or more characters from _Inuyasha are stuck in a one-room cabin or shack or something overnight because of snow, and there is only one blanket. I have read a great many of those fics, and so this is a parody of them!! Yay!! _

Chapter Four of _A Tale of Two Shippos_ was about the adventures of our favorite characters in Oz! Nothing relating to the actual story happened last chapter! It just sorta...happened. What is Sesshomaru's plan? Or Naraku's? You probably won't find out in THIS chapter either...but oh well!!

**A Tale of Two Shippos...Chapter FIVE!!**

            Inuyasha and Kagome trudged through the endless snowdrifts. They were both freezing cold, Kagome even moreso with her being completely human and only wearing her thin school uniform. They both shivered, their wet hair plastered against  their faces.

            "JOY!! SNOW!!!" Kagome exclaimed suddenly frolicking around.

            "If thou art not careful, thou shalt become frozen!" Inuyasha warned her.

            "BUT IT'S **SNOW!!! **YAY!!!" Kagome retorted. They trudged on, until Kagome could no longer handle the intense cold and collapsed in the snow. But, before she did, she managed to exclaim the word 'Penguin!!'. Inuyasha turned around, and saw her fall into the snow drift. 

            "Oh fiddlesticks," Inuyasha exclaimed, "thou hast fallen into the yonder snow!!" Inuyasha suddenly blinked.

            "Why was I speaking in old English?" he wondered. Then, he brightened. "Oh well!!" he exclaimed, scooping up the nearly completely frozen Kagome. He then galloped away, grinning.

            "JOY!! I get to carry Kagome!! This isn't annoying at all!!" he exclaimed, joyously.

            "......." said the unconscious Kagome.

            "^____________________^!!!" said Inuyasha as he started to skip. He continued on his laborious trek through the snow to find shelter, until he miraculously FOUND SOME!!! JOY!!! It was a small shack in the middle of nowhere. As he skipped up towards the door, a huge gigantic transparent version of Jaken appeared. Inuyasha yelped, and stumbled backwards in fear.

            "To get past me you must answer these questions three!" transparent Jaken bellowed.

            "O...kay..." Inuyasha hesitantly replied. 

            "Question one!! What is your name?!" transparent Jaken asked. Inuyasha arched an eyebrow, but answered the question.

            "Inuyasha," he replied. Transparent Jaken nodded.

            "Question two! What color is your kimono?!" transparent Jaken questioned.

            "Red," Inuyasha replied. _"What easy questions! I'll be able to get past him with no problem!_" he thought.

            "Question three!! What is the French word for 'Catnip'?" the huge transparent Jaken asked. Inuyasha blinked.

            "What?!" he asked. 

            "What is the French word for catnip?" transparent Jaken asked again.

            "Umm..uh..." Inuyasha stuttered. 

            "Cataire," Kagome mumbled in her sleep. Transparent Jaken gasped.

            "That is correct!! Congratulations! You two are the first to get past me!!" transparent Jaken exclaimed, and disappeared with a poof of weird smoke. Inuyasha sweatdropped, and pranced up to the shack joyfully, while thanking every Kami he could think of...EXCEPT for the Kami of snow. No, he did not thank the Kami of snow. Inuyasha threw open the door and skipped inside, the door magically shutting behind him. Kagome then miraculously woke up. 

            "Inu-baby!! You SAVED me!!" she exclaimed, glomping him. He stood proud and tall, while images of proud and tall things scrolled behind him. 

            "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," he said. Those three figures snickered behind him, holding up posters of the aforementioned proud and tall things. Inuyasha suddenly noticed that Kagome was no longer glomping him. He looked around, and saw her talking to the three figures.

            "Don't you get tired of doing the special effects for us in this fanfic?" she asked. The three figures shook their heads, snickered, and darted away...only to hit the side of the cabin and fall down with @'s for eyes. Kagome and Inuyasha sweatdropped, then coughed, and turned away from the three unconscious figures.

            "It's cold!" Kagome exclaimed, out of nowhere. Inuyasha surveyed the room, and spotted something in the corner! 

            "_A blanket?!"_ he thought, and rushed over to it. He growled in fury. Nope, it wasn't a blanket, it was...um...Inuyasha didn't know what it was, but he knew it DEFINITELY wasn't a blanket. So, he smote it, and underneath THAT was a blanket! JOY!! He promptly tossed the blanket to Kagome.

            "It looks big enough for two," Kagome noticed. Inuyasha squeed, and, faster than Kagome could comprehend, she and the half-demon were wrapped snugly in the blanket. She blinked, but decided to just go with it.

            "JOY!! I get to share a blanket with you!!" he exclaimed. She squeed and glomped him, causing him to squee again and glomp HER...

THIRTY MINUTES LATER!!!

            Shippo, Miroku, and Sango stumbled in the door of the shack, looking fairly frozen and covered with snow from head to toe. Sango came in shouting many colorful cuss words in several different languages. 

            "SNOW BEASTS!!! AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Inuyasha shrieked in terror.       

            "No! It's just Miroku, Sango and Shippo!" Kagome corrected him. In response to her, the three shook off all of their snow, revealing Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and a flock of penguins standing there.

            "Penguins?!" Inuyasha hollered, a homicidal glint in his eyes. The half-dog demon jumped up, drawing the Tetsusaiga, and chased the penguins outside. The instant he put his incredibly BARE foot outside, he shrieked and jumped back inside, wrapping up inside the blanket with Kagome again. She sighed, and patted him on the head.

            "So,. where have you guys been?" she asked Miroku, Sango and Shippo. 

            "SNARL!!" snarled Shippo, as he got down on all fours and growled at everyone rabidly.

            "None of your beeswax!!" Sango shouted at them in fury. Miroku instantly jumped to a dark corner of the room and cowered.

            "W-we were wandering around in the snow," he whispered, cringing when Sango gave a loud 'HMPH!!' and closed the door of the shack. She then pulled a cigarette out of the middle of nowhere, puffed on it, and belched loudly. She then glared at the contents of the room.

            "I HATE YOU ALL!! I hate you, Shippo, for being so kawaii! I hate you, Miroku, for the same reason!! And for you always asking if I will bear your freakin' children!! I hate you two," she exclaimed, glaring at Kagome and Inuyasha, "for being so freakin' WARM AND COZY!! I hate the snow because it's so D*&$ED COLD!!!" Sango screamed at them. Inuyasha and Kagome just glomped eachother, ignoring her. Miroku continued to cower in fear. Shippo had woken up the three figures and was chasing them around the small shack. Eventually, everyone fell asleep. Then they woke up, and then they fell asleep AGAIN!!! Then they left to pursue the sacred jewel, Shippo running ahead and barking at innocent bystanders rabidly, Sango complaining about everything, Miroku cowering in fear, and Inuyasha and Kagome glomping eachother and squeeing in glee. And so they were joyous. 

            "I wasn't in this chapter!!" Sesshomaru bawled, sitting on a nearby tree branch. Jaken, still in his monkey costume with wings, cackled diabolically with Huge Transparent Jaken. Rin drank 20 gallons of Vanilla Coke, and began to dance the Chicken Dance hyperly. Sesshomaru sighed, and a black circle engulfed them. 

            "Wait wait WAIT!!! That's IT?!?" Sesshomaru demanded. 

            "Yup!" Rin exclaimed.

            "I only said one thing!!" Miroku protested.

            "I didn't say ANYTHING!!" Shippo added.

            "Yeah, and Sango had more dialogue than ME, for Kami's sake!!" Sesshomaru shouted. 

            "I don't like Sango this way. Why can't she just be Sangoish like before?" Inuyasha asked.

            "Because the author has gotten tired of making her Sangoish," Kagome informed them. 

            "Oh!!" they all exclaimed at the same time. Then a black OCTAGON engulfed them! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! 


	7. Chapter SIX!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which my Yami pawned off for popsicle money... eheh...

Author's Notes: Nope, I'm STILL not back to normal. Well, more normal than The Wizard of Oz and Chapter Five...but still... Anyway, this is contains direct material from _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_. If you haven't seen it then GO SEE IT!! It's the BEST movie ever!! (by the way, I do not own Monty Python and I'm not receiving money for promoting them, either...) Anywho, it makes the chapter that much more funny if you've seen Holy Grail. If not, it's still pretty darn funny... oh, and there's some minor cussing and violence...

Chapter Five of _A Tale of Two Shippos_ placed our favorite characters, Inuyasha and Kagome, in the middle of a snowstorm!! Soon, they found shelter, but then Miroku, Sango and Shippo stumbled in... it really added nothing to the plot whatsoever...but it was fun anyway!! ^___^

**A Tale of Two Shippos... Chapter Six!!!**

            The Troupe were once again skipping down a random road. They had previously recovered from their earlier adventures in Oz and in the snowstorm of doomfulness. Now, they were just skipping. Merrily, might I add.

            "Umm...I'm tired of skipping," Sango complained.

            "Yeah, and this hurts my feet," the besandeled monk replied. 

            Quiet! Skip, fools, SKIP!!

            "Okay, okay!" they chorused. 

            There, that 's better. The Troupe skipped not-so-merrily down the random road, having no idea where they were going. They suddenly came upon a battle scene. A knight, clad in black armor, was fighting a buggish demon thing. The Black Knight slew the demon, and grabbed his shard of the Shikon no Tama that was floating in the air magically. Inuyasha stepped forward.

            "Brave Sir Knight, you fight well. Would you like to join me and my companions in our search for the Sacred Shikon Jewel of Four Souls?" the hanyou asked. The Knight was silent.

            "Umm...we'd really appreciate your help," Kagome piped up. The Knight was silent.

            "What's the _deal_ with this guy?" Miroku asked. Silence. 

            "SNARL!!" snarled Shippo, rabidly. 

            "Umm...when was that medicine supposed to kick in?" Sango asked.

            "An hour ago..." Kagome answered. Everyone but the Knight and the snarling kitsune sweatdropped. The Knight was, expectantly, STILL silent, even as Shippo started to rabidly gnaw on his metal boots.

            "Come on, guys. This moron obviously doesn't want to join us," Sango said. She stepped forward, only to have the Knight stop her.

            "No one passes," said the Knight. Inuyasha's ears twitched, and a look of murderous rage appeared on his face.

            "KOUGA!!" the half dog-demon screamed, not-so-gently ripping the Knight's helmet off to reveal...yup, you guessed it, KOUGA!! 

            "Oh! Hey Kouga!" exclaimed Kagome, cheerily. He looked at her, and got hearts in his eyes. He zoomed over to her and kneeled down before her, presenting her with a bright red rose that was ABSOLUTELY perfect. She gasped overdramatically and took the rose from him, looking as if she was about to cry. Miroku, Sango and Inuyasha made gagging noises, and Shippo STILL gnawed on Kouga's black metal boots. 

            "Fair Kagome, it is as great as the morning rays of sun reflecting off of water to see you again," Kouga said. 

            "Huh?" asked Miroku, confused. Inuyasha and Sango shrugged, equally as confused. 

            "When I see you, my heart beats faster than a hummingbird's wings...even though I have no idea what a hummingbird is..." Kouga continued. 

            "Must be the author's influence," Inuyasha concluded. Damn straight!! ^___^

            "You are more beautiful than the fairest rose in the world...which I went to great pains to get you, by the way..." the wolf youkai continued. Kagome blushed, fakely. Inuyasha was getting increasingly more and more pissed off.

            "I should write this down, it's good material!" Miroku exclaimed, frantically fumbling around for paper and a writing utensil. Sango sighed, and shook her head.    

            "You are more angelic than a dove, more graceful than a goddess, more nimble than a dove, with hair as black as raven's feathers, lips as red as apples, breasts as big as-" 

            The wolf demon was quickly cut off by Inuyasha, who had drawn the Tetsusaiga, and proceeded to  hit him on the head with the blunt side. Very VERY forcefully. 

            "&^^*&^*(&%*&^$%()*&*(&@#!!" Inuyasha shouted at the wolf demon, who was now stumbling around drunkly with @'s for eyes. Kagome was blushing more now than she had before. The wolf demon soon regained his senses, and glared at Inuyasha.

            "Ow!! *#$%^#$!! That HURT!! Prepare thyself for the cold hand of death!" Kouga shouted.

            "Bring it on, bitch!" Inuyasha shouted.

            "Oh, it has already been brought!!" Kouga countered. Inuyasha found himself very much confused and a total loss for words...so instead he charged Kouga and slashed the Tetsusaiga at him. Kouga's arm fell off an instant later. Sango screamed and fainted into Miroku's arms at the sight of blood.

            "Kouga! Your arm! You're hurt!" Kagome screamed overdramatically. Kouga looked smug.

            "No, thou art mistaken, fair maiden! It is not I that is hurt, but that half-breed mutt!"

            "Yeah, you wish," Inuyasha replied.

            "But, Kouga! Your arm!" Kagome protested. Kouga looked down at where his arm used to be. He blinked, and looked back up at her.

            "What is it that is wrong with my arm?" he asked. Kagome thought over the previous sentence in her head, then translated it into normal human conversation.

            "It's been CUT OFF!!!" she shouted.

            "No it hasn't!" Kouga argued, calmly. Inuyasha was quickly becoming just about as pissed as he was before. 

            "SHUT UP!!"  the half-youkai shouted, slashing with the Tetsusaiga again. Kouga's other arm also fell of (looking very much fake.)

            "Kouga!" Kagome exclaimed.

            "HA!!!" Inuyasha shouted triumphantly. 

            "'Tis only a fleshwound," Kouga replied, seemingly undaunted.

            "FLESHWOUND?! Your ARMS are cut off!!" Inuyasha demanded, incredulously.

            "What then? I'll still kick your ass, hanyou!!" Kouga exclaimed, rushing forward in an attempt to tackle Inuyasha. Inuyasha, furious, slashed his legs off. He fell to the ground standing on his stumps-for-legs, quite fakely.

           "What are you going to do, Kouga?!" Inuyasha sneered. Sango and Miroku stepped past them, followed by Shippo and Kagome. Inuyasha finally turned and walked off, grinning because of his victorious victory of victoriousness.

            "Hey, come back here!!" Kouga shouted. They ignored him, and continued. "Come on! What then? I'l bite your kneecaps off!!" Kouga yelled after them. They disappeared into the countryside. A few minutes later, a magical fairy flew up to him and sprinkled fairy dust on him. He "magically" regrew arms and legs. The fairy snickered and flew off. 

            The Troupe continued through the forest, but were not the least bit scared by the owl-ey noises of the "creatures" moving slowly and stupidly through the somewhat dark forest on each side. Well...Inuyasha was, anyway. Yes, he was. A cricked chirped, and he quivered. Suddenly, a.... TANUKI jumped out in front of them!

            "YAAAAAARGHHHHH!!" the hanyou shouted, jumping into Kagome's arms.

            "Relax, Inuyasha, it's just a Tanuki," Miroku and Kagome chorused.

            "AWWWW!!! WOOK AT DE WITTLE TANUKI!!" Sango exclaimed, scooping up the raccoon-dog and cuddling it. Shippo stopped snarling rabidly and, when Sango set the poor creature down, he sauntered up to it.

            "Hey, baby. How you doin'?" he asked in his best Joey Tribiani voice (ala Friends).

            "STEP AWAY FROM THE TANUKI! I REPEAT, STEP AWAAAAAAY FROM THE TANUKI!!" shouted someone random.

            "Eh?" Shippo exclaimed. A man in black armor on stilts appeared before them.

            "W-who are you?" asked a VERY timid Inuyasha, who, after five tense minutes, had FINALLY climbed out of Kagome's protective arms.

            "We are the Knights who say....NEE!!" the man exclaimed. Inuyasha's ears twitched and, once again, he drew the Tetsusaiga.

            "Dammit, Kouga!" the half-demon growled.

            "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" cackled Kouga.

            "Kouga?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha glared and muttered obscene things under his breath. He then jumped up and removed Kouga's black helmet somewhat rudely.

            "How is he still alive?" Miroku asked, somewhat amused. 

            "Kagome!" Kouga exclaimed, overjoyed.

            "Oh! Hey Kouga! How are you?" she asked, obliviously.

            "Umm...he JUST got his arms and legs chopped off by Inuyasha..." Sango pointed out.

            "No I didn't!" protested Kouga. Inuyasha growled, and prepared to lunge forward, but Kagome and Sango held him back. Miroku sighed, no longer amused, and stepped in front of the valiantly struggling Inuyasha.

            "Waddyawantfromus?" he asked.

            "Eh?" asked Kouga. Miroku exhaled, annoyed.

            "Knight Who Says Nee, what...do...you...want...from...US?!" Miroku exclaimed. Kouga looked thoughtful for a second. 

            "First, my Knights and I would like...(dramatic pause) a shrubbery! (Audience: NO! No! Not a SHRUBBERY!! Oh the humanity!) Then, you must cut down the biggest tree in the forest with...a...HERRING!!" Kouga exclaimed dramatically, holding up a herring and pointing to a HUGELY HUGE tree nearby.

            "Absurd!" Miroku protested.

            "And finally, I would like the hand of yonder fair maiden," he started, pointing to Kagome, "so that I may wed her, and so that I may bed her-"

            It all happened so fast. Kagome and Sango let go of Inuyasha, shocked, appaled and disgusted by Kouga's words. Inuyasha lunged forward, and cut Kouga's words off along with his head. Kagome ran up and kicked Kouga's carcass, glomping Inuyasha appreciatively. The Tanuki and Shippo slipped off into the woods alone... Er, anyway, back to the story...

            Kouga's severed head fell to the ground, his body a few seconds later.

            "Damn wolf!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

            "Well...I guess that works too," Miroku said.

            "Personally, I don't want to even _try_ to cut down that tree with a herring," Sango commented. Everybody looked at everybody else, and they all shrugged simultaneously. Shippo stumbled out of the woods nearby, clothing disaray and hair muffled up. Everyone just gaped in suprize as the Tanuki peeked around a tree and waved at Shippo, winking suggestively. 

            "Well...that's cheery," Kagome said. Then they all shrugged again, and laughed heartily, skipping away merrily. Two more snickering fairies flew up and sprinkled magical fairy dust on Kouga and his severed head. He magically jumped up, stilts forgotten, and ran after the Troupe.


	8. Chapter Seven '

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which my Yami pawned off for popsicle money... eheh...

Author's Notes: Nope. I'm STILL not back to normal. This chapter is MUCH more random than most chapters are. The insanity from History class is kicking in...

 In chapter five of _A Tale of Two Shippos, Kouga made his grand appearance!! First, the Troupe encountered him as a Black Knight fighting in the woods. Inuyasha beat him up royally. Then, they encountered a TANUKI!! Followed closely by the "Knights Who Say Nee'. There was only one knight, and that was Kouga. After another battle between Kouga and Inuyasha, the Troupe continued on their journey of peril and randomness. And now...._

**A Tale of Two Shippos: Chapter SEVEN!!!**

"Now I have TWO roses!!" Kagome exclaimed, joyously, as she produced her roses from Kouga and Sesshomaru out of thin air. Hojo suddenly ran up and handed her a light-blue rose.

            "Three!" he corrected her, zooming away. Everyone sweatdropped. 

            "That's that guy from your time that is in love with you, isn't it?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome nodded.

            "How did he go through the well?" Sango asked. Everyone shrugged. Miroku leaned over to Kagome and handed her a dark purple rose.

            "Now you have four," he said. Sango fumed. Naraku and Hitomi rushed up and handed her two identical black roses. 

            "Five," said Naraku.

            "Six," said Hitomi. They vanished. Nobunaga appeared out of nowhere and gave her a random neon pink glow-in-the-dark rose.

            "Seven!" he exclaimed, teleporting away with much gwah. Ryoga and Mousse wandered up, looking very lost.

            "Hi...we're looking for Furiken High..." Ryoga said.

            "You wouldn't happen to know whe--" Mousse started. They suddenly noticed Kagome. They instantly rushed over to her, kneeling before her dramatically and each handed her a rose (one was red, white and blue, and the other one was pink and purple striped). (a/n: yes, they DO have those kind of roses, I'm NOT making that up!). Shippou bounded up to them and pointed in a random direction. The two bishounen thanked him, and started off in the direction he pointed, only to be caught in a rainstorm and turned into their pig and duck forms. Shippou then took a yellow rose out of his vest type thing and handed it to Kagome. She squealed in delight.

            "Squee! Now I have TEN roses!!" Kagome was blushing and glomping her roses. Inuyasha and Sango both looked very much PO'ed. 

            "_I didn't get a rose!! Damn you, Miroku!!_" Sango mentally screamed, planning to rip out his intestines, putting them in a bowl, pouring hotsauce on them, and making him eat them. (eurgh...sorry, I just had to eat Mexican food...)

            "_How DARE all of those jerks give her roses!!"_ Inuyasha thought, fuming. Miroku tapped them both on the shoulder. He handed Inuyasha a BOUQUET of roses, alternatively red and white in color. He pointed from the roses to Kagome a few times so that Inuyasha would get the point. He then turned to a furious angry Sango, and presented her with a hugely gigantic rose made entirely of gold. (at least, that's what he _told_ her...) Inuyasha blushed, and tapped Kagome on the shoulder. She turned around, forgetting about her roses momentarily and stared into his eyes. 

            "Uhm..." he said, kind of weirded out about how she was just staring into his eyes like that. He coughed, and held out the bouquet of roses. She gasped overdramatically, but before she could take the roses, a stupidly huge demon cow with three eyes fell from the sky nearby, landing on the gold rose, squashing it flat. The cow then proceeded to eat the bouquet of roses that Inuyasha was holding, as well as eight out of her ten roses (the only two left being the ones that Fluffy and Kouga gave her)...which made the previous few paragraphs COMPLETELY and TOTALLY pointless!!

            "Moozier!" exclaimed Someone, who ran up and glomped the cow.

            "TAPPOSAI!!" everyone chorused. Inuyasha growled, and prepared to smite the big-eyed, dirt-old living-mummy demon person, while muttering curses under his breath.

            "Wait, wait! I've got something for you!" the big-eyed, dirt-old living-mummy demon person protested, waving his hands around wildly.

            "Well, it'd BETTER be DAMN good!! Your DAMN cow just ATE my DAMN roses!!" Kagome damned...er, I mean, Kagome _screamed_. Very VERY loudly, at that. The Japanese word for 'damn' is 'kuso', by the way. 

            "It IS!! It is a VERY good reason! I have here a brand spankin' new sword for ya!" Tapposai replied.

            "I don't NEED a new sword!!" screamed an annoyed Inuyasha.

            "It's not for YOU, nincompoop! It's for your fair young maiden!" Tapposai screamed back.

            "What do **I **need with a sword?!" Kagome demanded. Tapposai shrugged, but handed her the sword, anyway. On the handle there was an engraving of a penguin. She looked at him like he was a dancing llama. 

            "Ummm...why is there a penguin on the handle?" Shippou asked. 

            "It's called the Pensaiga. It has mystical powers previously unheard of! It is said that anyone who is cut by the Pensaiga will be turned into a penguin, and--" Tapposai started to explain. Before he could say another word, Kagome unsheathed the Pensaiga and eagerly cut Inuyasha with it. Silence. 

            "Hey! Bitch!! That HURT!!" Inuyasha complained. More silence.

            "Your stupid sword doesn't work, Tapposai!" Kagome exclaimed, turning to look at him. She gave a squawk of surprise, dropping the sword. Everyone else turned to look, and also squawked in surprise. Standing where Tapposai had been was a penguin, wearing Tapposai's clothing. Everyone gaped at Tappenguin. Kagome looked at the sword curiously. She then decided to cut Shippou with it.

            "AGGH!!" Miroku exclaimed, as he disappeared in a poof of smoke. Standing where the monk had been was a penguin, wearing Miroku's monkish clothing and carrying a miniature mandala. 

            "Cool!!" Sango exclaimed, taking the Pensaiga and cutting Kagome with it. 

            "Quack?" Sanguin asked a few minutes later. Sanguin was wearing Sango's normal civilian clothing, and had a miniature Hiraikotsu (or however you spell it!!) on her back. Shippo, Inuyasha and Kagome looked at eachother. Inuyasha lunged and picked up the sword, slashing Kirara with it. Shippo yelped, and soon there was a penguin, not much bigger than Shippo, wearing his clothing. Kagome took the sword from Inuyasha and cut Tapposai's demon cow with it.

            "ARGH!" Inuyasha shouted. 

            "Quack?" Inuguin asked, a few seconds later. Kagome looked at Inuguin and, after a few minutes of valiant struggling, couldn't help but glomp him/it. She set Inuguin down after a while, and looked around at her former friends.

           "Ummm...this is a bad thing isn't it?" she asked. Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken suddenly arrived. Kagome looked at them and, curious, decided to cut Rin. 

            "QUACK!!" screeched the now-penguin-former-toad Jaken. 

            "How DARE you cut Rin and turn Jaken into a penguin!!" Sesshomaru screamed at her. The two were suddenly aware of Naraku running toward them. Kagome just shrugged, cutting Fluffykins in the process. 

            "Quack?!" quacked Naraku in surprise, finding himself with flippers instead of hands. A random cardinal landed on Kagome's shoulder, and she noticed Kikyo running toward her over a nearby hill. The dead onna had a big ass knife in her hand and a murderous look on her face. Kagome looked from Kikyo to the cardinal, to Kikyo, to a zebra, and back to the cardinal. Laughing diabolically, she cut the cardinal. POOF!! Rin turned into Ringuin. 

            "Whoops!" Kagome exclaimed, looking around frantically for something to cut that would turn Kikyo into a penguin.

            _Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!!_ The miko swung the Pensaiga around her, making cuts appear in all of the trees and cacti around her. POOF! Kikyo and a herd of llamas turned into penguins. 

            "Well...that was special," she said. Sesshomaru looked rageful.

            "You...turned...Rin...into...a..." he started. She looked at him, apologetically. He turned purple in rage. " **_P_****_ E N G U I N ! ! ! ! !"_** he screamed. She fell over, clutching her ears.

            "I didn't MEAN to!!" she countered.

            "We have to THINK of something to change them BACK!!" Fluffy-chan countered. They instantly sat down Indian style and started to think.

THIRTY MINUTES LATER!!

            "I've GOT it!! I'll use the Tenseiga!" Sesshomaru shouted, jumping up excitedly. He drew the fabled useless piece-o-crap sword that doesn't cut, and slashed Ringuin with it.

            "Quack?" Rin asked, still a penguin.

            "ARGH!! FIDDLESTICKS!! It'd didn't work!!" Kagome exclaimed. They sat back down to think again.

THIRTY MORE MINUTES LATER!!!

            "Kagome!" exclaimed Someone. Kagome turned around. 

            "Kouga! My brotha'! Yo, homie! Wassup?" Kagome asked. He looked at her, confused.

            "Eh?" he asked. Inuguin was now angrily quacking and trying to attack Kouga.

            "Homie g fresh slice out of the frying pan with a glass of orange juice! You got some bling-bling goin', yo?" she tried again.

            "???" Kouga replied.

            "Word up!! I hear you, ma sistah! Gimme some skin!" Sesshomaru exclaimed, high fiving Kagome. 

            "Word to your mother!" Kagome replied. 

            "Umm...what are you guys talking about?" Kouga asked. They coughed.

            "Hi Kouga!" Kagome exclaimed.

            "Fair maiden! Thou looks stressed! What is it that troubles thee? And why art thou socializing with this dog demon?" Kouga asked, gesturing to Sesshomaru.

            "I accidentally turned everyone into penguins! He's trying to help me figure out how to change them back!" Kagome exclaimed. Kouga looked thoughtful.

            "How did you turn them into penguins in the first place?" he asked. She held up the Pensaiga.

            "With this! it's called the Pensaiga!" she told him.

            "Pen sai what?" he asked.

            "Pen..." Sesshomaru said.

            "Pen," Kouga replied.

            "Sai...." Sesshomaru continued.

            "Sai," answered Kouga.

            "GA!" Sesshomaru screamed.

            "Ga!" Kouga cried, joyously.

            "Pensaiga!" all three chorused. 

            "What do you have to do with the Pensai...pensai...SWORD to turn them into penguins?" Kouga asked.

            "You have to cut someone else and it might turn them into a penguin," she explained.

            "WHAT?!" he demanded.

            "Well, for example, she cut me with the Pensaiga and it turned Naraku into a penguin," Sesshomaru offered, pointing at Naraguin. Kouga looked thoughtful again.

            "Have you tried cutting one of the penguins with the Pen..sai...ga?" he asked, carefully. She shook her head. "Try then!" he exclaimed. She cut Ringuin with the Pensaiga. Miroku turned back to normal with a poof. Kouga, Sesshomaru and Kagome exchanged glances. Kagome cut Shippo, which made Sango turn back to normal. She tossed the sword to Sesshomaru, who cut Kikyo, causing Shippo to turn back to normal. Sesshomaru tossed the sword to Kouga, who cut Inuyasha, causing Jaken to return to normal. Kagome quickly cut Sango, making Jaken turn BACK into a penguin. She then cut Naraguin, making Rin return to normal. Sesshomaru glomped Rin, and then cut Tapposai's cow, making Tapposai return to normal. Finally, Kagome cut Kikyo and Naraku at the same time, making Inuyasha return to normal. He glared at Kagome, unsheathed the Tetsusaiga, and went to attack Kouga. Kagome sighed, kicking Kikyoguin once for good measure, and stomping on Naraguin. Rin, Jakuin and Fluffy bade Kagome and the others farewell, and walked off into the sunset. Kagome, Sango, Shippo and Miroku tied Kikyoguin and Naraguin to a cactus, and Inuyasha came back, growling.

            "Damn that wolf! He got away AGAIN!!" Inuyasha screeched. Kagome re-sheathed the Pensaiga, and fastened it to her belt. They then kicked Naraguin and Kikyoguin for good measure, and walked off, laughing heartily and chatting about their adventures as penguins. And everyone was joyous...well, except for Naraku and Kikyo. It's pretty HARD to be joyous when you're tied to a cactus with cactus thorns sticking into your back...

            But other than that, everyone was joyous. Except for Jaken...I mean, he was still a penguin...and it's pretty hard to be joyous as a penguin. Unless you WANT to be a penguin, that.is. But Jaken did NOT want to be a penguin.

            Anyway, other than them, everyone was joyous. Well, Kagome and Sango were still irate about the demon cow ruining their roses. And Inuyasha was pretty pissed about being turned into a penguin...and about not getting to kill Kouga... And Miroku still had not found a child-bearer, so he wasn't happy...

            But other than THEM, everyone was joyous!!


	9. Chapter Eight!

**A Tale of Two Shippos**

by ArtikGato

Disclaimer: I do not own _Inuyasha_ the tv series, or Inuyasha the bishounen (but I can dream...). I do not own any character from _Inuyasha_, and, as far as I know, the only made up character I insert into the fic is Farfignuten, this trash talking tree whose purpose in life is to annoy Jakan to no extent. In conclusion, I own nothing but my sanity, which fled earlier in this week due to being fried AND scrambled because of the EVILS of EXAMS!!!

Author's Notes: Nope. I'm STILL not back to normal, though this chapter has at least SOMETHING to do with the plot...er, whatever plot there was... This chapter is MUCH more random than most chapters are. The insanity from History class is kicking in...

In chapter seven of _A Tale of Two Shippos_, every male person (or at least remotely male) gave Kagome a rose, but when Inuyasha was about to give her a BOUQUET of roses, a THREE HEADED DEMON COW arrived!! It turned out to be the THREE HEADED DEMON COW of none other than TOTOUSAI!!! (even though spelled it 'Tapposai' in the last chapter...) Totousai presented Kagome with a new sword of unequaled opportunities for randomness: the PENSAIGA!! When cut by the PENSAIGA!!!, someone else in the general vicinity will turn into a Penguin. After turning everyone but Sesshomaru into penguins and then successfully turning everyone but Kikyo, Naraku and Jaken into penguins, everyone left. (strangely, both Kikyo AND Naraku appear in this chapter...so we'll just say that the effects of the Pensaiga wear off after a day or so...) Anyway, and now...****

**A Tale of Two Shippos...Chapter EIGHT!!!**

            "Tra," said Inuyasha. Everyone looked at him. "Umm...la la la la?" Everyone blinked.

            "What was the point of that?" Kagome asked.

            "Uhm...to not have a point?" Inuyasha asked.

            "Well." said Miroku.

            "Well." said Sango.

            "Applesauce." Shippo added. Suddenly, Inuyasha jumped into the air. Everyone looked at him. 

            "And what was the point of THAT?!" Kagome demanded. The hanyou shrugged.

            "I just felt like jumping," he replied.

Meanwhile, on a road near but not so near the Troupe....

            "They're Pinky and the Brain! Yes Pinky and the Brain!" Kikyo sang as she skipped down a random road, a huge grin on her stupid face. "One is a genius..." she started, and suddenly put preppy glasses on for no reason TRYING to look smart but failing horribly. "...and the other is insane!" she continued, twirling around in a circle flailing her arms around like a baka. 

            "CAW!!" screeched a random crow, who started to peck at Kikyo's stupid head.

            "Away with you!! Thou hast interrupted my serenade!" Kikyo shrieked. 

            "Serenade my ass!!" replied the crow, who had Inuyasha's voice. (randomly)

            "Inuyasha my love! Is that you?" Kikyo asked.

            "I'm a crow. Do I LOOK like Inuyasha in ANY way?!" the crow demanded.

            "....INUYASHA!!!" Kikyo cried and glomped the crow. The crow exploded.

            "WAAAAH!! INUYASHA EXPLODED!!!"

            More crows suddenly arrived and pecked at her.

            "Away! Away foul beasts!" she shrieked, "Why must thou torment me so? Why dost thou peck at my head as if thy wishes to eat me?!" 

            "Grammar is your friend..." started one.

            "SILENCE YOU!!" Kikyo blasted it with a bolt of magical pink priestess-ey powers.

            "UHM!!" said the rest of the crows.          

            "NOW ANSWER MY QUESTION UNLESS YOU WANT TO MEET THE SAME FATE!!" Kikyo shrieked. The crows suddenly formed a chorus line.

            "Crows are scavengers, that we are!" sang the first one.

            "When we golf we get six under par!" sang the second one.

            "Scavengers eat dead things, do you see?" sang the third.

            "We eat crumpets and drink tea!!" sang the fourth, who was wearing a pimp hat. Yes, for no apparent reason at all. Is there such a thing as a crow pimp? o_O Makes ya wonder...

            "Soooooo...." Kikyo started. Music started the play and the crows immediately started to do the can-can.

            "'Cause you're dead, 'cause you're dead, 'cause you're dead! Oh we eat you 'cause you're dead! Your soul has given part, you no longer have a heart..." they all sang.

            "Because you're dead!" sang the first.

            "Because you're dead!" sang the pimpish crow.

            "BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!" they all sang. Kikyo smiled and applauded.

            "Bravo!! Excellent song!!" she cheered. The crows all looked at eachother, shrugged, and laughed diabolically. Then they all simultaneously swarmed around her with red glowy eyes. They picked her up and flew away.

            "WARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, and zapped the birds with her magic pink priestess-ey powers. The crows turned into soot and she remained in the air for a few seconds... before she FELL to her ALMOST CERTAIN DOOM!!!!

THE END!!

Just kidding...

Anyway, Kikyo was falling to her ALMOST CERTAIN DOOM!!

Except that the crows had carried her about 100 feet into the air.

So she was falling to her ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN DOOM!!

Only, there was a HUGE and DEEP canyon below her.

So she was falling to her ABSOLUTE CERTAIN DOOM with LARGE SHARP AND PAINFUL ROCKS!!

But some bandits had dug a pitfall trap in the canyon in the EXACT PLACE she would hit.

So she fell to her DOOM with LARGE SHARP AND PAINFUL ROCKS and lots of FALLING!!

MEANWHILE....

            "I suddenly have the urge to sing 'Joy to the World'!" Inuyasha announced.

            "Why?" Kagome asked. The hanyou shrugged.

            "To be random, I guess," he replied.

MEANWHILE AGAIN!!!  

            "Quack quack, I am a camel! Quack quack, I am a moose!" Naraku sang.

            "Dang dawg! You be trippin'?" came an annoying screechy voice. Naraku turned to the source of the voice and there was...KIKYO!!

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!

            "But...but...I just saw you fall to your DOOM with SHARP ROCKS and lots of FALLING!" Naraku protested, looking like a fish out of water. 

            "This is life number 701.5," Kikyo explained.

            "Ah..." Naraku said, confused.

            "So wassup homie?" Kikyo asked.

            "Huh?" Naraku asked, even MORE confused.

            "You be trippin, dawg! Reconise, foo!" she replied.

            "What language is this?" Naraku asked.

            "RE CO NISE FOO!!!" she shouted. 

            "You're annoying. And stupid. Bye bye," Naraku said.      

BOOM!!!!

Kikyo exploded! 

MEANWHILE TIMES THREE!!

            "There it is again! The unexplainable urge to sing 'Joy to the World'!" Inuyasha shouted again. Everyone looked at him.

            "Wait...I feel it too now!" Kagome exclaimed. Suddenly...

WHOOOOOMPAAAAAZZZZZZ!!!!

            As soon as everyone heard the noise they turned around to be faced with a REALLY SCARY sight that would make ANY coward run screaming from the room/area.

            "What's wrong?" asked two high-pitched incredibly annoying childish voices.

            "OH THE HUMANITY!!" Sango shrieked and fainted into Miroku's arms.

            "THIS IS TOO BIZARRE!!!! AUGH!!" Miroku yelled, dropped Sango, and ran screaming from the room/area. 

            "S-shippo?" asked Kagome.

            "Hiya Kagome!!" replied the same two voices, in perfect synchrony.

            "Ummm...is it just me or are there TWO Shippos?!" Inuyasha demanded.

            "No, you're right. There's definitely two. Agh!! Shippo divided in half!!" Kagome exclaimed.

            "Huh?" asked the two Shippos, and turned to look at eachother. "Eeep! You're me!" they both exclaimed. Inuyasha took a deep, calming breath, and decided to handle the situation like a mature, adult person would.

            "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!?! TELL ME OR I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!!!" the hanyou yelled. Kikyo emerged from the forest, dressed in a black turtleneck shirt, a long black skirt, black boots, a black beret, and a pair of black sunglasses. Oh, did we mention that she was wearing BLACK?!

            "It was I, Kikyo the dark," Kikyo said.

            "KIKYO!!" Inuyasha exclaimed.

            "KIKYO!!" Kagome snarled.

            "The dark?!" the Shippos asked.

            "The government is out to get you. They are watching...FROM THE TREES!!! KILL ALL TREES!! KILL ALL TREES!!!" Kikyo shrieked like a banshee. Everyone conscious stared at her.

            "Are you okay?" Inuyasha asked. Kikyo turned to him.

            "And YOU!! Your hair gives the government special power!! We must CUT IT OFF!!" Kikyo screamed. Inuyasha snarled.

            "**NO ONE TOUCHES THE HAIR!!!" ** he shrieked.

            "What's a governit?" the Shippos asked. Kagome shrugged.

            "No no! We must CUT YOUR HAIR OFF!! ALL OF IT!! OR THE GOVERNMENT WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!" Kikyo screamed. 

            "That's IT!!!" Inuyasha exclaimed, grabbing the Tetsusaiga and turning into his red glowy eye creepy demon form at the same time. "DEATH!! AND KILLING!! AND DIEING!!!" he yelled.

            "DEMON!!!" Kikyo exclaimed.

            "NO KIDDING!!!" Inuyasha growled, raising the Tetsusaiga above his head. Before he could attack her, she exploded.

            "Eh?" Inuyasha asked, and made the stupid mistake of turning back into his hanyou form. Stupid Inuyasha. Whatever blew KIKYO up OBVIOUSLY is too strong for you to handle as a hanyou, and yet you persist in turning BACK into a HANYOU...

            Anyway, an EVIL and diabolical and EVIL and demonic and EVIL and psychopathic and **EVIL!! **laugh sounded from the trees.

            "Who's there?" Kagome asked. Miroku emerged from the trees.

            "MIROKU!! WERE YOU MAKING THAT AWFUL NOISE?!" Inuyasha demanded.

            "What, that EVIL and diabolical and EVIL and demonic and EVIL and psychopathic and **EVIL!!** laughing?" Miroku asked.

            "YUH!!" everyone conscious yelled.

            "No..." he started, and then he turned into a purple emu. "Huh. Okay, yes then!" the emu, who had an uncharacteristically (and probably unhumanly) deep voice.

            "ARGH!! YOU'RE NOT MIROKU!! YOU'RE AN EMU!!" the Shippos exclaimed.

            "ARGH!! YOU'RE NOT MIROKU!! YOU'RE NARAKU!!" Kagome and Inuyasha yelled.

            "Oh...that makes more sense..." the Shippos replied. Emu Naraku quacked and ran up to the two Shippos. He grabbed one of them in his beak and ran off never to be seen or heard from again. Well, except when they fight him to get Shippo #2 back...

            "SHIPPO!!" Kagome yelled dramatically.

            "I'm right here," Shippo pointed out.

            "Not YOU!! The OTHER Shippo!!" Kagome exclaimed.

            "Oh..." Shippo said. 

            "Well, this is random!! Miroku's gone, Sango is unconscious, and Naraku just kidnapped one of the Shippos!" Inuyasha complained. 

            "This is confusing," Shippo said.

            "To say the least..." Kagome added. Sango suddenly woke up and looked at Shippo.

            "Oh thank God! There's only ONE of you!!" she exclaimed, then looked around. "Where's Hoshi-sama?" she asked. 

            "Naraku KIDNAPPED the other Shippo while you were passed out!! And we have no idea where Miroku is!!" Kagome exclaimed, overdramatically. Lightning flashed ominously.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!

Just kidding...^_^ *dodges various thrown objects* Sorry!!

Last time on A TALE OF TWO SHIPPOS...

            "Tra," said Inuyasha.

            KIKYO EXPLODED!!

            "Well, this is random! Miroku's gone, Sango's unconscious, and Naraku just kidnapped one of the Shippos!" 

And now, the continuation of A TALE OF TWO SHIPPOS...PART EIGHT!!

            "What are we gonna do, what are we gonna do, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" Kagome panicked, running around in circles. 

            "Calm down!" Inuyasha ordered.

            "Miroku could be DEAD or DIEING and Naraku could be torturing Shippo #2 with NEEDLES and EVIL PURPLE DINOSAURS!!! How do you expect me to be CALM?!" Kagome demanded. Shippo and Sango whimpered and then started to cry.

            "Hoshi-saMAAAAAAAAA!!!" Sango shrieked.

            "Me Number Twoooooooo!!!" Shippo wailed.

            "NO CRYING!!" Inuyasha yelled. They immediately stopped and acted as if the two sentences above didn't happen. So so should you. They never happened.

            "We'll split up to look for them. Kagome and I will go kill Naraku and bring back Shippo  #2 and probably dinner, while you two go look for Miroku!" Inuyasha ordered.

            "But I need to go look for Me #2!" Shippo complained.      

            "NO!!!" everyone screamed.

            "One of you is PLENTY enough!!" Sango and Inuyasha yelled. Shippo started to cry.

            "SHUT UP!!" everyone yelled, and Inuyasha punted Shippo into the atmosphere.

            "HEY LOOK IT'S OUR HOUSE!!" Shippo yelled as he sailed away. 

            "That wasn't very nice," Kagome pointed out.

            "Would you rather have him HERE being all ANNOYING and CRYING and stuff?!" Inuyasha demanded.

            "....no...."

            "HA!!" 

            "So why are we going to look for his second copy?" Kagome asked. Inuyasha suddenly realised his mistake.      

            "NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

MEANWHILE!!!!

            Unbeknownst (what a random word!) to Inuyasha and Kagome, Sango had already left to search for Miroku.

            "Hoshi-sama, please be okay," she said. Then she thought about that for a second. "...not that **I** care, but if you died we'd have to go through the trouble of burying you..." 

            "Oh, I'm SO glad you care," came a sarcastic male voice.

            "HOSHI-SAMA!!!" Sango shrieked, and ran in the direction the voice had come from. She broke through a line of trees into a beautiful meadow with flowers and grass and moss and trees and other meadow-ish stuff...but no one cares about that kinda stuff in a parody fic so never mind... In the EXACT center of the meadow was a big tree, which Miroku was hanging from upside-down by the feet. His arms were folded and there was a VERY disgruntled look on his face.

            "This isn't COMFORTABLE you know!! Come and UNTIE me!!" Miroku suggested.

            "Hoshi-sama! I'm so glad you're all right!" Sango exclaimed.

            "That's great and all, but how about, oh, I don't know, GETTING ME OUT OF THIS GOD-FORSAKEN TREE?!" Miroku shouted. Sango smirked, and took her boomerang off of her back. Miroku's eyes widened.

            "Not THAT WAY!!" Miroku shrieked, flailing his hands about frantically. Sango threw the boomerang, but a sudden gust of wind blew it into the tree and away from Miroku's rope.    

            "Darn," Sango said, and took a knife out of her pocket. "I guess I'll have to cut you down the _conventional_ way," she said, and went over and started cutting through the thick rope. "So, who tied you up here, anyway?" she asked. 

            "A beautiful woman...at least I thought. She turned out to be Naraku...you know, I can see up your skirt like this..." Miroku said. Sango stepped back, and glared down at him. He got an innocent 'what did I do?' look on his face. 

            "HENTAI!!!" she exclaimed, kicking him so hard that he looped up over the branch, cutting the rest of the rope, hit Sango's boomerang, and hit the ground a few seconds later, her boomerang a few feet away unscathed. Sango walked over and put her boomerang back on her back with a triumphant 'ha!'. Miroku dizzily got up.

            "That wasn't nice..." he said, but she just 'hmph'ed and turned and walked off, Miroku following behind her.

            "I must say though, you have a _nice_ ass-" Miroku started, but she whacked him with the boomerang. "-never mind,"  

TO BE CONTINUED... (for real this time!!)

**There are only two things that can motivate me to continue: popsicles and reviews. I have one, now you provide the other...**


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